Regrets? Really?

Truth time.

Have you ever regretted going for something that you really wanted?

Before you answer, let's talk about the question though. I'm not talking about something that you *should* want, or something that you used to want and don't anymore. I'm talking about something that you want for yourself, that really resonates with your core.

Now.

Have you ever regretted going for something that you really wanted?

I ask this today, because I see this come up a lot. There's a choice out there that really resonates with what we want for ourselves.

It could be going part-time in order to spend more time with our kids.

Or picking the less prestigious job because you like the "feel" of the place better than the one that would be *better* for your career. 

Or, eek, wanting to start your own practice, even though private practice is "dead" (says all of your friends and family who tell you to stay safe in the job that is sucking you dry).

I can't think of anything in my life that I really wanted that I regret going after. Including things that didn't work out, things that were hard, things that led me to pivot, and things that were full-stop failures.

I don't regret them because these were all me be more myself. Now, this is counter-culture in medicine. We spend a lot of time learning *not* to be ourselves, and in fact not to be anyone. The polite, generic, caring, bladderless, tireless, never-cranky shell of a human suits the role much better, don't you think?

But I see many physician struggle with this. We're taught to follow the path, to aim for the top, to always be working to better ourselves. And what happens?

We're exhausted.

We don't feel like a human.

We don't feel like we matter.

And we try to convince ourselves desperately that we should *want* what we have.

I say enough. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm done with making decisions about what is best for me based on what I think I should want for myself.

And I invite you to join me.

It's ok to say no, and not meet someone's (likely unrealistic) expectations.

It's ok to turn down the "dream job," that is no longer YOUR "dream job."

It's ok to leave, or take a break or do your own thing (just keep it legal, ok?)

Be done with shoulding on your wants, and regretting what you DON'T do. You can pick your hard. You can stay where you are, be disappointed with yourself and what you have that you thought would be *enough," or you can make a move. Stand up for yourself. Say no. Don't question the desire to do something different; befriend it, learn about it, try it.

No regrets.