Letting it be Easy
Nov 06, 2021
Hard is prevalent in my world. “I had a hard day,” “my work is hard,” “parenting is hard,” “this pandemic is so hard.” Over and over, I have had these same sentiments; life, my day, exercising, fitting errands in, dealing with kids tantrums, etc. And I was definitely believing it. I believed every day that my life was hard, that I had it hard, that it was supposed to be hard, whatever. Hard, tough, difficult, etc.
I’m not suggesting that none of these things are difficult or hard. But if I really look at it, what am I creating for myself?
If the messaging I receive is about how difficult things are, and my internal dialogue is all about how crazy tough my life is, what am I creating? What is my mind believing? What is it looking for evidence of?
My brain will continue to look for evidence of how my life is hard. And it will find it, because my brain is really very accustomed to finding evidence of this (but only because of 30+ years of training with this thought).
The truth is, no matter what happens (circumstances, facts, occurrences in my life), no one can “give” me an easy life. If I want to think of my life as easy, or any particular thing as easy, I have to start changing my thoughts.
[If someone had told me this 3 years ago, to be honest, I probably would have punched them, no joke]
If I wake up, and tell myself, “Today is going to be easy,” and I practice thinking that thought, what does it create? My emotions will likely be lighter, so I will probably be in a better overall mood. My emotions drive my actions, so I am probably going to find it easier to get lunches made and packed, get my kids fed, get my work-out done, etc. The overall outcome is that my day is easier.
And yes, I see you rolling your eyes (refer to comment about about punching people in the face), and I deeply, deeply understand. But even if you have a day full of challenging tasks, what would it be like if you decided beforehand that it was easy? Say you are a Laborist, and you have a double-shift because your partner is sick and your department is understaffed. What does it create in your day when you tell yourself “easy” vs “hard?” If you are a subspecialty Surgeon, heading into the OR to do your highly specialized and technical surgery, what is the outcome if you decide it’s easy (“I’m well trained,” “I have done this many times before,” “I know how to handle it if something goes wrong” might be your self-talk) vs thinking it’s hard (“this surgery is so difficult,” “why do I have to be here doing this?”). If you are double-booked in clinic, and steeping in anxiety about getting though the day, does it help you move faster? Does thinking it’s easy make you work less hard or less diligently? I’m guessing not. Does it open space for you emotionally, since you aren’t having to wrestle as much with your negativity, self-doubt, and pessimism? Maybe?
I encourage you to give this a try. Just for today. Let your day be easy. You might have a lot of things to do, you might have a lot of people to see, manage, parent, etc. Try telling yourself, “Yeah, I got this,” “today I choose to let this be easy,” “I usually struggle with xyz, but today, it’s just easy for me.” We aren’t changing the tasks themselves, we aren’t ignoring the complexity of your work, your life, we’re just playing with the mindset.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
Hi There!
I'm Megan. I'm a Physician and a Life Coach and a Mom. I created this blog to help other Physicians and Physician-Moms learn more about why they feel exhausted, burned-out and overwhelmed, and how to start to make changes. I hope that you enjoy what you read, and that it helps you along your journey. And hey, if you want to talk about coaching with me, I'm here for that too! I offer a free 1:1 call to see if we are a good fit. Click the button below to register today.
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