Don’t HAVE a Problem; And Definitely Don’t BE a Problem
Nov 02, 2024
How many times have you encountered the feedback along the lines of:
“We can’t personalize your template”
“We can’t ask someone to do that *just* for you”
“Everyone gets the same here”
(me thrusting my hand in the air while jumping up and down)
Most women have been socialized to not take up space, not make anyone uncomfortable, not ask for help or special attention. Women in medicine? Ooh, you better dial it down even further.
Women in medicine are still treated as though we should be lucky to be here.
Despite being asked more questions by patients (and staff).
Despite frequently being over-paneled.
Despite having safer outcomes.
And not only are we “lucky” to be let in the club, we are generally expected to do more, do more with fewer resources (no chaperones = no extra hands), and smile and be a team player.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of it….so tired.
Don’t BE a problem and don’t HAVE a problem. (but meanwhile, please solve everyone else’s problems and don’t talk about your kids too much, but be personable, and smile if you get called “nurse”)
It’s time for us all to be done with this. But the truth is, no one will give you permission to be done. You have to decide for yourself.
Give yourself permission to take up space.
Give yourself permission to set boundaries (and be ok with other people not liking it, because that’s normal).
Give yourself permission to “be difficult” (their words, not yours).
Doing this work AND getting the help and support you need is BRAVE. And it’s the path to getting unstuck from burnout; giving yourself permission to prioritize your wellbeing, set boundaries, accept help (including PAYING people to help), and leaving room for rest and relaxation.
We have to actively cultivate these habits, actively cultivate this mindset to have peace. It’s counterculture in society, in medicine.
And it’s time.
Be a “problem” with me. It’s good trouble, I promise!
Hi There!
I'm Megan. I'm a Physician and a Life Coach and a Mom. I created this blog to help other Physicians and Physician-Moms learn more about why they feel exhausted, burned-out and overwhelmed, and how to start to make changes. I hope that you enjoy what you read, and that it helps you along your journey. And hey, if you want to talk about coaching with me, I'm here for that too! I offer a free 1:1 call to see if we are a good fit. Click the button below to register today.
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